I once thought I wouldn’t live to see my 30s so now that I’m here it’s such a gift.
In my 20s if I wasn’t actively trying to kill myself, I was thinking about it.
I numbed my pain with alcohol and work and dating.
I thought external success would bring me happiness but when I got the “dream” job as a journalist for a national newspaper, I felt miserable.
Me, aged 18; a university student suffering from depression & alcoholism
I travelled to beautiful places but the depression snuck in with my luggage and came along for the ride.
I fell in love multiple times but with people who didn’t love me back.
I wanted escape but the truth was I couldn’t escape myself.
My life was running on auto-pilot, driven by the subconscious belief of “I’m not enough.”
When I finally hit rock bottom and burnout I was forced to stop running, turn inward and face myself.
Me in my 30s; a fully awakened Witch who loves herself
As I embarked on my Witchcraft and “mother wound” healing journey I used different modalities to support my holistic wellbeing in mind, body and spirit: Tarot, crystals, coaching & breathwork to name a few.
I learned to love myself, practice self-compassion, go inwards and honour the light AND the shadow.
I stopped saying “yes” when I meant “no.” I stopped trying to be someone I’m not. I got off the treadmill of “survival mode” and for the first time started to truly enjoy my life.
I embraced Mother Earth and let her heal me on long walks in the forest. I did things that scared and excited me (like stand up comedy). I attracted my soulmate.
Getting my autism diagnosis aged 30 was yet another awakening; an opportunity to further know myself on a deeper level and shed all of the false masks I’d been wearing in order to fit in and appear “normal.”
I’m living proof that miracles can happen when you stop trying to change the external and instead focus on your inner world first.
If you’re struggling right now, I want you to know that you’re not alone.
Things can and do change, it sometimes just takes a little bit of time.
Imbolc (1st Feb) is a “wheel of the year” event. Not a solstice or an equinox, but it marks a liminal time; the midpoint between Winter and Spring, between darkness and light, between death and rebirth.
The 1st of February is also the feast say of St. Bridget who is considered to be the Christian counterpart to the earlier Pagan Goddess Brigid who was associated with poetry, healing and fertility in addition to fire and healing wells.
Here are three simple rituals to support you to work with the energy of Imbolc.
1. Write Poetry
Poems don’t have to rhyme (or even make any sense at all.)
You could write a poem as an offering for Goddess Brigid and burn it before burying the ashes or scattering them in a stream.
You could write a poem inspired by Spring or rebirth.
You could even write a poem to yourself, your own inner child or inner loving mother.
2. Make art / Create
You could paint or draw something inspired by Imbolc (half Winter / half Spring) or play a song inspired by Imbolc (like this one by Lisa Thiel) and dance freely.
Using dry twigs from the Oak, Rowan, Birch or Willow tree you could also create your own charcoal and use this. (Make a fire safely and place the twigs in a tin with a hole in the top on the fire until the steam stops coming out.)
Imbolc means “In the belly”, a reference to pregnant ewes, so it’s a good time to think about what you’re birthing in the world and to nurture your creative spirit.
3. Make a St. Brigid’s cross
The Christian story of the St. Brigid’s cross is that she made it to convert a dying chieftan. But the symbol has pagan roots and is also considered to be a symbol of protection and connected to the four seasons and elements (fire, earth, air water).
It’s easy to make one using either rushes, straw or paper.
You could set an intention for healing or protection as you make it and then place it on your altar, above your bed or by the entrance to your home.
Here is a simple tutorial I found on YouTube that explains the process.
Do you have any rituals you do for Imbolc? Let me know in the comments.
If you’re neurodivergent (or know someone who is) here are some simple yet loving statements that could positively transform your relationships.
You could even use them when you’re talking to yourself!
1. “Let me know if you can do (X), but no pressure!”
Having friends and people in our lives who can adjust their expectations and be understanding of our needs day to day can be such a relief. ️
2. “You’re so funny / unique / talented / brave.”
Having our positive traits validated is so life affirming and can counteract negative self-talk. If other people are saying it we’re more likely to say it to ourselves too.
3. ” Wow you cleaned the bathroom / did the laundry, well done!”
Some of us can find tasks that NT people consider “easy” incredibly difficult so receiving praise for these “little” things is so lovely.
4. “What do you need to feel more comfortable in this situation?”
We don’t always feel confident advocating for reasonable adjustments or access needs so it’s nice when someone else opens the door to that conversation.
5. “You seem a bit stressed / overwhelmed. Is there anything I can do to help?”
Asking for help doesn’t always come naturally and sometimes we don’t even realise we’re stressed or struggling until it’s too late. Having someone to gently offer support in times of need can make a huge difference. We might need something that’s not the neurotypical solution too. e.g. space instead of a hug, so it’s good to ask for the specifics of what we need.
Which is your favourite? Let me know in the comments 👇
If you’d like support with better communicating your feelings and needs then I’d love to invite you to book a spiritual life coaching session with me – your first one is free!
The 1st of August marks the festival of Lammas; a Christian celebration or “loaf mass” likely derived from the Gaelic festival of Lughnasadh (loo-nu-suh) which marks the mid point between the Summer Solstice and Autumn Equinox.
This is the beginning of the harvest, a moment to express gratitude for nature’s abundance and a time alive with the vibrant and playful energy of summer.
When I was growing up in N.Ireland I would go to the famous Ould Lammas Fair in Ballycastle at this time of year; a bustling affair with market stalls, fairground rides and a yellow sticky sweet foodstuff called “Yellow man” that would definitely make your teeth rot if eaten in copious amounts (but what traditional fair would be complete without such a thing?)
As much as I enjoyed it, when I was younger I never took the time to properly learn about the history of Lammas or understand its interesting Christian / neopagan connections.
But I didn’t need to know this to access the playful, abundant energy that abounded.
Recently I was asked if growing up in Ireland had anything to do with my connection to the Fae and Celtic folklore.
Honestly, I’m not sure.
Although I was surrounded by the echoes of tales of giants, the old Gods and children being turned into swans etc. my religion was Catholicism and so anything pagan wasn’t something I was encouraged to explore.
However, not long ago, during a breathwork journey, I had an emotional awakening.
The tree spirits and river sprites that inhabited my favourite natural place to explore and go for walks, told me that they’d always been with me and were always guiding me, even though I was unaware of their presence.
My experience of my own spiritual journey has been that I don’t always have to understand everything and in fact my beliefs are rooted in the humility that comes from accepting that some things will always remain a divine mystery.
These days, Lammas feels like a time to pause and ask:
What is already ripe in my life?
What deserves to be celebrated, honoured, or shared?
What does abundance truly mean to me right now?
Not everything makes itself known through obvious milestones or achievements. Sometimes abundance shows up as a subtle shift, an inner harvest, a quiet moment of clarity.
Whether it’s a spiritual breakthrough, a creative spark, or simply the return of a sense of belonging—this season reminds me to trust that the seeds I’ve planted are bearing fruit, even when I can’t yet see the full picture.
In the same way that I was supported by the fairies and sprites that I couldn’t see whilst growing up, I believe that we are all held by invisible forces;
The wisdom of our ancestors
The stories and sacred vibrations of the land
The unconditional love of the Divine.
Tell me in the comments – what does abundance mean to you right now?
Change is inevitable yet it can’t be forced. We all need to grow but each person does so at their own rate.
There may be times in our lives when we wish time would speed up so we can skip over a difficult or challenging chapter.
And there may be times when we wish the clock would slow down so we could have more time with our loved ones or we’re having the time of our lives and we just don’t want it to end.
I’ve spent a lot of my own life being frustrated at my perceived stagnation, desperately wanting things to move forward, for my life to “begin” as I measured myself against my peers who seemed to be moving on, growing up and achieving success in a way that I wasn’t.
And even on my healing journey there were times when I was trying to force a breakthrough, operating from the belief that I was broken and needed to be fixed ASAP.
Society, our families and institutions can all condition us to believe that there is a specific or optimal timeline we should be living by.
E.g. Buying a house by 30 Kids before age 40 Retirement by 70
But I believe in a creator and I believe in divine timing and as such I believe that we’re all uniquely crafted and designed to find our own path. Our soul came here on a mission to EXPERIENCE whatever that looks like, whether it’s straightforward or messy.
And to experience we must learn to enjoy the journey rather than hastening ahead to a specific destination.
Another lesson I’ve learnt is that the beauty of life happens when we’re not “trying” to make anything happen.
It’s those moments when we can be truly present and enjoy cuddling the dog in bed. It’s the laughter and a moment of connection between two friends. It’s a candyfloss sunset. A grasshopper that you spy on a wall. Your partner saying “I love you.”
I leave you with an affirmation I return to often when I need to cultivate a little patience… “The slower I go, the faster I grow.” 🪴
Let me know in the comments something that you’re grateful for in your life right now.
I was in a situation recently where I was forced to confront my own stories of inadequacy and unworthiness.
I’ll set the scene.
I was on a hen-do with people I didn’t know (aside from the Bride-to-be) and travelling to London for the day.
I don’t often say “Yes” to group socialising opportunities since I’m Autistic and it drains me but I felt called to step out of my comfort zone because, A. It was a hen-do and I’ve never experienced one of those before and B. I’m going to the bride-to-be’s wedding but we haven’t spent a lot of time together so I thought it would be nice to get to know her better.
From the outset I was super-aware of my own inner dialogue and my shadow parts who were piping up and highlighting all of the reasons I didn’t belong or deserve to be a part of the group…
I don’t have a PHD (most of the other women did)
I’m not married
I don’t have a mortgage
I’m not a “girly girl”
I’m leaving early and they’re all going to judge me for that
I don’t drink alcohol
I could see these stories of inadequacy for the absolute bullshit that they were, and at the same time I observed myself trying to impress these women I didn’t even know.
I caught myself saying the things that my shadow thought they wanted to hear so that they would like me, like telling them about the fancy office I used to work in when I lived in London for a year (where I was absolutely miserable) or trying to legitimize my invite to the hen-do by telling them that I’m the best man’s girlfriend (which is true, but I felt like I was using this info as a sort of social visa.)
This internal struggle was then coupled with the very real and outer embarrassment of realising I had a big period blood stain on the back of my skirt.
On one level I really wasn’t bothered about this at all (it happens to the best of us) but it was a ghastly affront to that inner people-pleaser who was determined to make a good impression and be liked at all costs.
“Oh my goodness, whatever must they think of me, I can’t believe you didn’t take better precautions!” she wailed.
I’ve been on the journey of personal and spiritual development for a while now so in those moments when these frightened inner child and inner teenage parts were threatening to sabotage my day, I was able to pause and reassure them that everything was ok.
“It’s ok if I don’t become best friends with everyone I meet.”
“It’s ok if other people don’t understand me (or even like me).”
“It’s ok if I don’t have a husband, mortgage or PHD – I’m no less lovable or worthy.”
And when I was able to bring these parts of me into the light, I also found that I could see the truth of the situation.
If we hold firm to certain beliefs such as “I don’t belong” or “I don’t fit in” or “nobody likes me” then we will only see evidence that reinforces these beliefs or we’ll derive negative meaning from every inconsequential comment or action.
“But what did they really mean when they said that?” your brain will muse.
But when I affirmed to myself “I do belong here, I deserve to be here and I’m claiming my space on this hen-do” my perspective shifted.
I noticed kind gestures – like one woman giving me a safety pin so I could sort my skirt out and hide my blood stain.
I was able to be present and enjoy the shared creativity and fun that accompanied the crafting activity we were doing (we’d gone to a lino printing class).
And instead of being so absorbed in my own self-centered fear I was able to look outside of it and be curious about the other people there, asking them questions and discovering more about what makes them unique.
If you want to break up with imposter syndrome the first step is just becoming aware of that inner dialogue.
Observe it, see it for what it is.
The the next step is to stop letting it run the show by putting a new tape of positive affirmations and self-love statements in your mental cassette player:
“I am worthy and lovable no matter what.”
“It is my divine birth right to have fun and experience fulfilling relationships.”
“Every day in every way I am claiming my place on this Earth and developing loving, soul-family connections.”
A self-love summer isn’t about finding the perfect pair of sunglasses or moisturiser – it starts on the inside by making sure we’re not melting under the glaring sun of our own shame and fear.
Let me know in the comments something you’ve been saying about yourself that you know is absolute bullshit and what you could say to counter it.
If you’d like more support with breaking up with imposter syndrome I’m offering some 1:1 coaching sessions at a discounted price to support my Cosy Coven crowdfunder project.
When I was 20 I was living in Bologna, Italy doing an internship as part of my degree in languages.
On a Saturday evening, Via Dell’Independenza; a wide street which leads away from the main piazza, comes alive with street performers of all kinds, from dancing men painted blue to jugglers and puppeteers.
It was on this street that I spied a woman sitting with some cards at a little table covered in silk cloth. I’d never had a tarot reading before. I was intrigued albeit sceptical, but I couldn’t resist.
Like most 20 year old girls my main questions revolved around a boy, in this case an Italian / German who according to the cards thought I was “good hearted but a little crazy.” He confirmed a few days later that this was an accurate reading.
When the reading shifted from my tempestuous love life to career, the woman surprised me by saying that I’d make a great air hostess. This was something I’d been actively considering at the time since I spoke a few languages and loved to travel. “How could she possibly know that?” I thought. On that day, the Tarot cast its spell on me.
It wasn’t until a few years later when I was living in London that I came across a book at a second hand market called “Fortune Telling by Tarot cards” by Sasha Fenton. It felt like a sign and I could once again feel this art form calling to me.
In the beginning, having always been an A star student, I approached my study of the Tarot as a very serious academic endeavour.
Every morning and evening whilst travelling on the London underground to and from work, I would read this book religiously and try to commit to memory, word for the word, the meanings ascribed to each of the cards.
Since there are 78 cards in a standard tarot deck, this was no mean feat!
However, as time went on and I moved from reading for myself, to reading for others, I soon discovered that the best readings required a key ingredient: Intuition.
In order to accurately channel messages through the cards, it was vitally important for me to tune into feelings, sensation and emotion which took me beyond what I could glean from any book.
I also learnt that a reading began before I’d even shuffled the deck. If I took a moment to tune into my intuition and the energy of the querent beforehand I found I could often sense what the reading would be about. Sometimes I’d even be able to predict the specific cards that would come out!
Tarot reading is essentially storytelling, whether you see it as the cards telling the story of the subconscious mind, your angels and guides telling you what you need to know or a map to the future.
As with any work of art or literature, the reader or viewer’s interpretation is always subjective because it is shaped by their own personality, likes and life experiences.
For example, someone who’s never suffered the physical loss of a partner will experience a book like “One Day” very differently to someone who has. It’s the same with Tarot. Someone in love will no doubt have a different reaction to “The Lovers” card as opposed to someone who’s in the midst of a difficult break up.
Likewise an older person may connect differently with the “Death” card (which isn’t normally about literal death but ego death and transformation) than a younger person.
I’ve always loved stories. From a young age I wrote and illustrated my own little books and was an avid reader.
The Tarot is essentially an epic story that follows the hero’s journey model.
All of us are the hero in our own stories but we’re only living one part of that story at a time and no matter where we are in life, the cards can give us a loving nudge in the right direction (or a tough love kick up the arse when we’re living in denial).
And I also learnt that Spirit was developing its own language with me through the cards.
For example, if I was connecting with someone’s loved one in Spirit, the Judgment card would nearly always show up. Or if I was looking at a soulmate / twin flame connection, the two of wands would feature.
As I expanded my deck collection I also developed a unique relationship with different representations of the cards which sometimes included symbols or artwork that differed dramatically from the traditional Rider-Waite deck, for example. This also influenced the outcome of a reading.
What I love most about Tarot is that it helps us to get another perspective, helping us to take a zoomed out view at what we can’t normally see because we’re too close to it, our faces squished in anguish against the glass of our hopes, dreams and fears.
Tarot has helped me to take a step back, breathe and find a way forward, no matter how dark or unwieldy the path ahead has seemed.
Now I want to share this gift with you too.
If you’re curious to learn more about Tarot and would like to learn how to read the cards, whether for yourself or others, I’m hosting a beginner’s workshop this Monday online.
How numerology and Tarot can help you to navigate the year ahead.
Have you set yourself some goals for 2025 or created your vision board?
Maybe you’ve made a resolution or two.
Whether the answer is “yes” or “no” I’m here to support you.
In this post I’m going to dive into the numerology and Tarot correspondances of 2025 which may help with your intention setting and provide some clarity for the coming months.
First of all, 2025 is a “9” year in Astrology. Why? Because 2+0+2+5 = 9.
9 is all about endings, release, letting go and completion.
So 2025 could be a great year to finally give something up that has been troubling you for years, like a bad habit such as smoking, for example, a toxic job or relationship, a negative behaviour pattern or way of thinking… the list goes on.
Just because 2025 is a “9” year also doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to start anything this year or experience new beginnings. But just be aware that if you experience any delays or bumps in the road with something you’re trying to create and bring into the world, it’s likely just because there’s something (or someone) you need to let go of to pave the way for that new thing to come in in 2026 (which is a “1” year signifying new beginnings).
We’ve all heard the phrase “ignorance is bliss” but it is only by confronting our shadows that we can stand in the light of truth and live a life of soul-led purpose.
In terms of Tarot, The Hermit card is the 9th card in the Major Arcana so provides us with the overarching theme or North Star for this year.
Whilst the Hermit can signify quiet reflection, meditation, resting and retreating on our own, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re going to spend the majority of this year alone or holed up in a remote cave away from all civilisation (although going to do yoga in the mountains or a meditation retreat in the forest could be just the ticket!)
But certainly connecting to your truth, your inner wisdom and your intuition will be vital this year, as well as anything you can do to tune out the noise of outside influences and the wider world, particularly if these are in conflict with what your gut is trying to tell you.
This is a year of awakening, a time for spiritual truth seekers to boldly go where none have gone before and stand firm in their truth, even if this goes against the status quo or what their own family, friends and community believe.
The Hermit is about enlightenment and shining the light of truth on the shadows, thus illuminating the darkness within ourselves and in our external realities in terms of governments, societies and systems.
This “shadow work” can be uncomfortable and unsettling.
We’ve all heard the phrase “ignorance is bliss” but it is only by confronting our shadows that we can stand in the light of truth and live a life of soul-led purpose.
So in summary, 2025 is a year of Surrender, going within to discover the truth about ourselves and our world and letting go (once and for all) of the cycles, patterns, people, places and things that we’ve outgrown and which no longer serve us.
Channelled messages from Lion’s Gate 8/8 portal 2024
Lion’s Gate is a special astrological alignment that’s active from 26th July – 12th August each year with the peak energy day falling on 8/8.
It’s a potent time when Orion’s belt, the star Sirius (our spiritual sun), the Earth and the Sun in Leo all align to create a fertile ground for us to exand, experience rapid spiritual growth and manifest our desires with ease.
As the portal closes for another year I wanted to share the downloads and channelled messages I received for the collective this year…
Home
The topic of “Home” came through as an important theme this Lion’s gate for the collective.
We’re being called to tend to our physical spaces and make our homes the temples and sanctuaries that will be most conducive to our overall productivity and wellbeing. Now is a good time to declutter and clear out any stuck or stagnant energy in the form of physical possessions – do you really need those old birthday cards from your ex? Or those socks with holes in them?
But this topic goes deeper than simply our physical homes. The phrase “Home is where the heart is” comes to mind. It’s about thinking about what home means to us. How can we feel more grounded and rooted in our lives? Are we afraid to commit? What allows us to feel safe and supported in life? It’s important to to do some reflection and shadow work around what our experience of “home” was like for us growing up as this will allow us to clear and declutter on a mental and emotional level as we let go of old resentments and fears around safety, security, belonging etc. You can also look at the 4th house in your astrological chart as this will provide some more clues as to how you experience this theme in your life.
Soul Family
This is sort of connected to the theme of home in a broader sense. We’re being called to think about our chosen family and the groups and communities we are a part of.
It’s important to find like-minded and hearted people to share the journey of spiritual growth and expansion with – whether it’s in person or via online communities.
However, we are also being asked to bridge the divide. In the midst of growing tension and division we’re being asked to focus on our commonalities and what makes us human as we set our differences aside in favour of the greater good.
The universe is asking us to shift our relationship dynamics right now. This can involve letting go of connections we’ve outgrown or which are no longer serving us as well as calling in new relationships which will support us on the next stage of our journey.
Beauty
Spirit wants us to call more beauty into our lives, whatever that means for us on an individual level – whether it’s filling our homes with beautiful flowers or going to look at beautiful paintings and statues in galleries.
The energy from Lion’s gate affords us an opportunity to heal any feelings of low self esteem or hang-ups about our physical appearance as we learn what it means to be beautiful on the inside and out.
Now is the time to adjust your beauty routine to something that is truly in alignment with you on a soul level – it’s time to stop following trends or buying into unrealistic media standards which have distorted the true meaning of beauty.
Heart expansion
During the live event I held on 8/8 I channelled Goddess Ishtar and conducted a clearing and healing the heart chakra for those who were participating.
Specifically I walked us through 8 chambers of the heart to clear away any blockages, tension and stuck or stagnant energies.
Biologically we only have 4 heart chambers but I received the download that on a spiritual level we have 8 and each one represents something different – I will share more info on this when I have meditated on it further and clarified the messages from Spirit.
Paying attention to our heart chakra at this time will support us in our personal development but it is also important for humanity as a whole since it is the key to calling in a new reality founded on a basis of unconditional love.
Rest & Retreat
A theme that kept coming up in readings that I did during Lion’s gate was the need to slow down, rest, retreat and make space for quiet and personal reflection and meditation.
It may seem counter intuitive but rest is essential for recharging our batteries and reinvigorating our minds, bodies and spirits.
In our busy cultures and societies we may find it hard to slow down, pause and unwind but Spirit is calling us to shift into a new feminine way of managing our lives and schedules – one which makes space for receptivity, stillness and rest.
Let me know how this Lion’s Gate was for you in the comments below.
Today is the last chance to book a special mini email tarot reading with me for £8.88 – just click here to book.
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