Tag: lifecoach

coaching, Mental Health

Birthday reflections (of a 30 something, Autistic Witch who’s been to hell and back).

Cosmic Kat

It was my birthday in January. I’m now 32! ✨🎈❤️

I once thought I wouldn’t live to see my 30s so now that I’m here it’s such a gift.

In my 20s if I wasn’t actively trying to kill myself, I was thinking about it.

I numbed my pain with alcohol and work and dating.

I thought external success would bring me happiness but when I got the “dream” job as a journalist for a national newspaper, I felt miserable.

Me, aged 18; a university student suffering from depression & alcoholism

I travelled to beautiful places but the depression snuck in with my luggage and came along for the ride.

I fell in love multiple times but with people who didn’t love me back.

I wanted escape but the truth was I couldn’t escape myself.

My life was running on auto-pilot, driven by the subconscious belief of “I’m not enough.”

When I finally hit rock bottom and burnout I was forced to stop running, turn inward and face myself.

Me in my 30s; a fully awakened Witch who loves herself



As I embarked on my Witchcraft and “mother wound” healing journey I used different modalities to support my holistic wellbeing in mind, body and spirit: Tarot, crystals, coaching & breathwork to name a few.

I learned to love myself, practice self-compassion, go inwards and honour the light AND the shadow.

I stopped saying “yes” when I meant “no.”
I stopped trying to be someone I’m not.
I got off the treadmill of “survival mode” and for the first time started to truly enjoy my life.

I embraced Mother Earth and let her heal me on long walks in the forest.
I did things that scared and excited me (like stand up comedy).
I attracted my soulmate.

Getting my autism diagnosis aged 30 was yet another awakening; an opportunity to further know myself on a deeper level and shed all of the false masks I’d been wearing in order to fit in and appear “normal.”

I’m living proof that miracles can happen when you stop trying to change the external and instead focus on your inner world first.

If you’re struggling right now, I want you to know that you’re not alone.

Things can and do change, it sometimes just takes a little bit of time.

My birthday has been and gone but here is my special gift to you: a free spiritual life coaching session.

If you resonate with any aspect of my story, I would love to support you at this point on your journey.

Find out more about my other offerings here.

coaching

Five phrases that feel like a warm hug to neurodivergent womxn

Cosmic Kat

 

If you’re neurodivergent (or know someone who is) here are some simple yet loving statements that could positively transform your relationships.

You could even use them when you’re talking to yourself!

1. “Let me know if you can do (X), but no pressure!”

Having friends and people in our lives who can adjust their expectations and be understanding of our needs day to day can be such a relief.
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2. “You’re so funny / unique / talented / brave.”


Having our positive traits validated is so life affirming and can counteract negative self-talk. If other people are saying it we’re more likely to say it to ourselves too.

3. ” Wow you cleaned the bathroom / did the laundry, well done!”


Some of us can find tasks that NT people consider “easy” incredibly difficult so receiving praise for these “little” things is so lovely.

4. “What do you need to feel more comfortable in this situation?”

We don’t always feel confident advocating for reasonable adjustments or access needs so it’s nice when someone else opens the door to that conversation.

5. “You seem a bit stressed / overwhelmed. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Asking for help doesn’t always come naturally and sometimes we don’t even realise we’re stressed or struggling until it’s too late. Having someone to gently offer support in times of need can make a huge difference. We might need something that’s not the neurotypical solution too. e.g. space instead of a hug, so it’s good to ask for the specifics of what we need.


Which is your favourite? Let me know in the comments 👇

If you’d like support with better communicating your feelings and needs then I’d love to invite you to book a spiritual life coaching session with me – your first one is free!

Spirituality

Embracing Abundance: The Spirit of Lammas

Cosmic Kat

The 1st of August marks the festival of Lammas; a Christian celebration or “loaf mass” likely derived from the Gaelic festival of Lughnasadh (loo-nu-suh) which marks the mid point between the Summer Solstice and Autumn Equinox.

This is the beginning of the harvest, a moment to express gratitude for nature’s abundance and a time alive with the vibrant and playful energy of summer.

When I was growing up in N.Ireland I would go to the famous Ould Lammas Fair in Ballycastle at this time of year; a bustling affair with market stalls, fairground rides and a yellow sticky sweet foodstuff called “Yellow man” that would definitely make your teeth rot if eaten in copious amounts (but what traditional fair would be complete without such a thing?)

As much as I enjoyed it, when I was younger I never took the time to properly learn about the history of Lammas or understand its interesting Christian / neopagan connections.

But I didn’t need to know this to access the playful, abundant energy that abounded.

Recently I was asked if growing up in Ireland had anything to do with my connection to the Fae and Celtic folklore.

Honestly, I’m not sure.

Although I was surrounded by the echoes of tales of giants, the old Gods and children being turned into swans etc. my religion was Catholicism and so anything pagan wasn’t something I was encouraged to explore.

However, not long ago, during a breathwork journey, I had an emotional awakening.

The tree spirits and river sprites that inhabited my favourite natural place to explore and go for walks, told me that they’d always been with me and were always guiding me, even though I was unaware of their presence.

My experience of my own spiritual journey has been that I don’t always have to understand everything and in fact my beliefs are rooted in the humility that comes from accepting that some things will always remain a divine mystery.

These days, Lammas feels like a time to pause and ask:

What is already ripe in my life?

What deserves to be celebrated, honoured, or shared?

What does abundance truly mean to me right now?

Not everything makes itself known through obvious milestones or achievements. Sometimes abundance shows up as a subtle shift, an inner harvest, a quiet moment of clarity.

Whether it’s a spiritual breakthrough, a creative spark, or simply the return of a sense of belonging—this season reminds me to trust that the seeds I’ve planted are bearing fruit, even when I can’t yet see the full picture.

In the same way that I was supported by the fairies and sprites that I couldn’t see whilst growing up, I believe that we are all held by invisible forces;

The wisdom of our ancestors

The stories and sacred vibrations of the land

The unconditional love of the Divine.

Tell me in the comments – what does abundance mean to you right now?

If you’re feeling lost, unbalanced, or uncertain this month, I have some spaces available for 1:1 tarot readings and sound / crystal healing sessions via Zoom.

If you have any questions don’t be afraid to get in touch. Just drop me an email at hello@cosmickatspirit.com

Spirituality

Embrace Change: Bloom at Your Own Pace

Cosmic Kat

Change is inevitable yet it can’t be forced.
We all need to grow but each person does so at their own rate.


There may be times in our lives when we wish time would speed up so we can skip over a difficult or challenging chapter.


And there may be times when we wish the clock would slow down so we could have more time with our loved ones or we’re having the time of our lives and we just don’t want it to end.

I’ve spent a lot of my own life being frustrated at my perceived stagnation, desperately wanting things to move forward, for my life to “begin” as I measured myself against my peers who seemed to be moving on, growing up and achieving success in a way that I wasn’t.

And even on my healing journey there were times when I was trying to force a breakthrough, operating from the belief that I was broken and needed to be fixed ASAP.

Society, our families and institutions can all condition us to believe that there is a specific or optimal timeline we should be living by.

E.g. Buying a house by 30
Kids before age 40
Retirement by 70

But I believe in a creator and I believe in divine timing and as such I believe that we’re all uniquely crafted and designed to find our own path. Our soul came here on a mission to EXPERIENCE whatever that looks like, whether it’s straightforward or messy.

And to experience we must learn to enjoy the journey rather than hastening ahead to a specific destination.

Another lesson I’ve learnt is that the beauty of life happens when we’re not “trying” to make anything happen.

It’s those moments when we can be truly present and enjoy cuddling the dog in bed.
It’s the laughter and a moment of connection between two friends.
It’s a candyfloss sunset.
A grasshopper that you spy on a wall.
Your partner saying “I love you.”

I leave you with an affirmation I return to often when I need to cultivate a little patience…
“The slower I go, the faster I grow.” 🪴

Let me know in the comments something that you’re grateful for in your life right now.

If you’d like some additional support on your spiritual / life journey please book a free 1:1 call with me.

self love

How to break up with imposter syndrome and have a self-love summer

Cosmic Kat

I was in a situation recently where I was forced to confront my own stories of inadequacy and unworthiness.

I’ll set the scene.

I was on a hen-do with people I didn’t know (aside from the Bride-to-be) and travelling to London for the day.

I don’t often say “Yes” to group socialising opportunities since I’m Autistic and it drains me but I felt called to step out of my comfort zone because, A. It was a hen-do and I’ve never experienced one of those before and B. I’m going to the bride-to-be’s wedding but we haven’t spent a lot of time together so I thought it would be nice to get to know her better.

From the outset I was super-aware of my own inner dialogue and my shadow parts who were piping up and highlighting all of the reasons I didn’t belong or deserve to be a part of the group…

  • I don’t have a PHD (most of the other women did)
  • I’m not married
  • I don’t have a mortgage
  • I’m not a “girly girl”
  • I’m leaving early and they’re all going to judge me for that
  • I don’t drink alcohol

I could see these stories of inadequacy for the absolute bullshit that they were, and at the same time I observed myself trying to impress these women I didn’t even know.

I caught myself saying the things that my shadow thought they wanted to hear so that they would like me, like telling them about the fancy office I used to work in when I lived in London for a year (where I was absolutely miserable) or trying to legitimize my invite to the hen-do by telling them that I’m the best man’s girlfriend (which is true, but I felt like I was using this info as a sort of social visa.)

This internal struggle was then coupled with the very real and outer embarrassment of realising I had a big period blood stain on the back of my skirt.

On one level I really wasn’t bothered about this at all (it happens to the best of us) but it was a ghastly affront to that inner people-pleaser who was determined to make a good impression and be liked at all costs.

“Oh my goodness, whatever must they think of me, I can’t believe you didn’t take better precautions!” she wailed.

I’ve been on the journey of personal and spiritual development for a while now so in those moments when these frightened inner child and inner teenage parts were threatening to sabotage my day, I was able to pause and reassure them that everything was ok.

“It’s ok if I don’t become best friends with everyone I meet.”

“It’s ok if other people don’t understand me (or even like me).”

“It’s ok if I don’t have a husband, mortgage or PHD – I’m no less lovable or worthy.”

And when I was able to bring these parts of me into the light, I also found that I could see the truth of the situation.

If we hold firm to certain beliefs such as “I don’t belong” or “I don’t fit in” or “nobody likes me” then we will only see evidence that reinforces these beliefs or we’ll derive negative meaning from every inconsequential comment or action.

“But what did they really mean when they said that?” your brain will muse.

But when I affirmed to myself “I do belong here, I deserve to be here and I’m claiming my space on this hen-do” my perspective shifted.

I noticed kind gestures – like one woman giving me a safety pin so I could sort my skirt out and hide my blood stain.

I was able to be present and enjoy the shared creativity and fun that accompanied the crafting activity we were doing (we’d gone to a lino printing class).

And instead of being so absorbed in my own self-centered fear I was able to look outside of it and be curious about the other people there, asking them questions and discovering more about what makes them unique.

If you want to break up with imposter syndrome the first step is just becoming aware of that inner dialogue.

Observe it, see it for what it is.

The the next step is to stop letting it run the show by putting a new tape of positive affirmations and self-love statements in your mental cassette player:

“I am worthy and lovable no matter what.”

“It is my divine birth right to have fun and experience fulfilling relationships.”

“Every day in every way I am claiming my place on this Earth and developing loving, soul-family connections.”

A self-love summer isn’t about finding the perfect pair of sunglasses or moisturiser – it starts on the inside by making sure we’re not melting under the glaring sun of our own shame and fear.

Let me know in the comments something you’ve been saying about yourself that you know is absolute bullshit and what you could say to counter it.

If you’d like more support with breaking up with imposter syndrome I’m offering some 1:1 coaching sessions at a discounted price to support my Cosy Coven crowdfunder project.

Click here to find out more about the Cosy Coven and see all of the rewards available.

Mental Health, Spirituality

Let’s talk about…Transitions

Cosmic Kat

As I write this I’m sitting in an airport waiting to board a flight.

I’ve always loved airports because they’re portals for adventure, where people converge – there’s an energy of change, readiness and excitement here.

Some people are here to go on holiday but others will be embarking on a new stage of life.

Right now in the Northern Hemisphere  we’re transitioning into Autumn and the colder months.

I’ve learnt that it’s important to appreciate the inbetween phases of life.

When something comes to an end it’s important for me to take a deep breath and fully appreciate the moment.

I need to smell the roses before I move onto the next goal and notice the changing colours and seasons of my life.

Sometimes I feel like I’m not moving forward or progressing in the way I’d like to.

But I am always healing.

Always becoming.

Always transforming.

Every day in every way my life keeps getting better and better – even when it feels like I’ve taken a step back or I’m stuck.

As Miley Cyrus sang “It ain’t about how fast I get there…it’s the climb.”

It may sound cliché but Life is a journey and along the way we check in at various destinations.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t know where you’re going or how you’re going to get there.

Just appreciate each moment.

Spirituality

Spiritual Lessons I learnt from SNAILS

Cosmic Kat

A fun fact you probably don’t know about me is that I have pet snails.

Yes, that’s right.

The normal garden variety – not fancy African Land Snails.

Just over a year ago I was sitting in a pub and when I went to take a drink from my water bottle there was a little baby snail on it.

It was so tiny!

I allowed it to slime onto my hand and my tights and marvelled at how cute and seemingly defenseless it was.

When I left to go home I tried to put him on the grass but he retreated back inside my (now empty) water bottle and honestly I’d never seen a snail so small, I couldn’t imagine how he’d ever survive to adulthood!

His shell was translucent. I just wanted to protect him.

This was how I met Snigel.

I called him Snigel because his first home was an old Swedish Glace ice cream tub (great Vegan ice cream btw!) and the Swedish word for Snail is Snigel – clever eh?

He later upgraded to a celebrations tub and now has a fancy terrarium.

(Side note: I say “he” but snails are all hermaphrodites and can take on either the mother or father role in the mating process.)

Image may contain: plant
Snigel was so tiny!

I firmly believe that Snigel came into my life as a spirit animal at a time when the Universe was screaming at me to slow the F down!

I was always busy, always on the go, doing music and comedy gigs, building my business, socialising.

I just didn’t know how to slow down.

Part of this was because I was going through a difficult break up and was distracting myself.

Unconsciously I was just “doing” so I didn’t have to “be” and sit with my feelings.

But Snigel changed that.

I loved watching him and seeing how he moved.

I learnt that snails actually have personalities and that Snigel is an adventurer and maverick at heart.

He was always escaping from his tub and ending up in weird places around the kitchen, such as high up on the wall tucked inside the rim of the boiler.

He taught me to (literally) think outside the box and not allow myself to be limited.

Snails are mostly deaf and blind so their senses of taste and smell are heightened.

Snigel reminded me to feel things out intuitively.

He taught me that sometimes you need to retreat and go back inside your shell.

He taught me to appreciate the simple pleasures in life, which in his case are broccoli stalks and calcium powder.

He taught me to be inquisitive and I relished researching more about a creature I’d previously never given much thought.

I fell in love with nature again and how weird and ingenious she can be – did you know that snails poo via their lung cavity?

I soon found that other snails naturally gravitated towards me in need of assistance.

One that had a flaky, dry shell slimed across my living room window and front door so I gave it some calcium powder to help rebuild it.

Another was on my back doorstep and I gave it a leaf from my chilli plant.

In the morning the snail had gone and had eaten a tiny little hole in the leaf!

I began to notice snails everywhere and now I always help them by picking them up and putting them into the side of the pavement or hedge so they won’t get stepped on.

I learnt the value of being of service, no matter how big or small the gesture.

Snails are naturally social creatures so Snigel was going to get lonely on his own.

He now has two friends, Dandy and Twiggy, who also seemed to find me, rather than me finding them.

You might not think it’s possible to bond with a mollusc but I truly believe that love comes in all shapes and sizes and can be found in the most unexpected of places.

That’s the most important lesson of all.

Spirituality

5 reasons to love your body right NOW

Cosmic Kat

I used to hate my body.

I thought I was too “fat” and I didn’t like my wobbly stomach so I sucked it in, wore spanx and crash dieted.

If I wasn’t emotionally eating and bingeing on chocolate or cheesy pasta I’d be starving myself and surviving on as little food as I could.

But today things are different.

Today I love my body and here’s why you should too…

1.) You only have ONE body!

Think about that for a moment.

Yes it’s true you can have plastic surgery or get a prosthetic limb but we are born and die in the same body – we don’t get a free upgrade.

Isn’t that reason enough to show it some love?

2.) Your body is AMAZING!

Each and every day your body is fulfilling millions of different functions without you even having to consciously think about it.

When’s the last time you had to tell your body to breathe or digest your food?

Your body is a machine, an absolutely wondrous feat of natural engineering and deserves to be respected accordingly.

3.) Ain’t no body like your body!

Your body is completely unique to you!

It’s not like a car – no one else has the exact same make or model.

So instead of comparing yourself to others, remind yourself of how special you are.

4.) I wanna dance with some body!

Take a moment to appreciate all of the things your body allows you to do – dancing, walking, running, skiing, swimming etc.

Some people can’t do these things of course, whether it’s due to disability or another condition.

But if you have 100% mobility and shy away from beach volleyball because you think you look fat in a bikini then you’re doing it wrong.

5.) Starting with the (wo)man in the mirror

When you choose to love yourself and accept your body for how it is right now (not when you’ve lost weight, or your acne has cleared up) then you’re setting an example for others to also love and accept themselves.

Let’s make body positivity the change we want to see in the world!

💜 Would you like to learn how to love yourself fully and fearlessly? Get in touch to book a FREE discovery call to see if you’d like to have 1:1 coaching with me. 💜

Mental Health, Spirituality

Let’s talk about…Depression

Cosmic Kat

Let’s talk about depression…

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I used to suffer from the debilitating kind.

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I’d have those days where I’d wake up and I couldn’t lift my head because it felt like someone had placed a brick on my forehead.

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When it got really bad I’d feel suicidal and I tried to kill myself twice.

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I don’t believe depression is an illness in and of itself – it’s just a symptom of repressed emotion, trauma, stagnant energy or a knot in your heart that you haven’t honoured or acknowledged.

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I don’t have those really dark moments anymore but I have felt quite heavy and low for the past couple of days.

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I couldn’t figure out why.

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Then this morning I pulled an angel card for Archangel Haniel (a moon goddess) and it said “Honour your feelings.”

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So I did.

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I took a deep breath and did a few rounds of EFT tapping, allowing myself to honour and acknowledge all of what I was feeling – stuck, frustrated, angry with myself, fed up that things in my life weren’t moving fast enough, impatient, perfectionistic.

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The tears came and I let them.

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I leant in to that resistance and afterwards I felt so much lighter and brighter.

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The perfectionist in me didn’t even want to acknowledge I was being a perfectionist so that’s why I’d gone into a slump – you don’t have to worry about getting things perfect if you don’t try at all.

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But there is a middle ground – I can accept that my best today is good enough and that will change from day to day.

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Today honour how you’re feeling and allow yourself to step into flow and out of resistance.

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You are ENOUGH!

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Get in touch if you’d like to explore 1:1 coaching with me so you can love yourself fully and fearlessly and attract the love you deserve.